


I Would

by sneezechae



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Song fic, some fluff ig, they don't end up together, this is sad i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 15:57:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18479521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneezechae/pseuds/sneezechae
Summary: Hyunjin still hasn't forgotten his ex even after a year, maybe because he was the one at guilt for their break up. What happens when he has to meet his roommate's boyfriend and it get’s him to encounter who he considered to be the love of his life again.





	I Would

**Author's Note:**

> hello... this is what i came up with while i was listening to i would by day6, go listen to it if you haven't or search up the lyrics, it makes this have a little more sense i believe.  
> this is my first time posting something online after a while so... yeah. let me know what you thought about it :)  
> ps: english is not my first lenguage so i apologize for any grammar errors

Hyunjin had been living with Jisung for three months when the other had started insisting that the older should meet his boyfriend. 

Not that it was a big deal or anything, Hyunjin couldn’t care less about the other’s boyfriend but he had been trying to stay away from people on relationships or relationships in general, he always felt sort of bitter around them, and considering how important it seem for his roommate that he met his boyfriend he didn’t want to seem rude or anything. It was just that maybe his heart was still a bit too broken, even if almost a year had passed since the day he had let a part of his heart go.

But there was so many times that he could say no to Jisung, specially with his puffy cheeks and cute smile, Hyunjin had a soft spot for the guy. So, after weeks of refusing the invitation he agreed to go out with him and his boyfriend.

At first Jisung had suggested to make dinner at home, but considering the fact that they only had used the apartment kitchen three times, being one of them the time that they almost burned the entire building down, they agreed that it would be better to just eat outside.

The night was cold and it didn’t matter how much Hyunjin drowned his face on his scarf, he could still feel his ears getting numb because of the cold, Jisung wasn’t doing much better considering the speed that he was rubbing his hands with, trying to get some heat on them. 

Hyunjin was about to scold him for not bringing his gloves with him when he saw the other’s face lit up at the sight of someone, his friend walked a little bit faster and opened his arms to hug the person they had just encountered. 

The light of the lamppost felt right over the couple and as he got a better look at the person his friend was hugging, he felt a knot form at his throat. 

His hair fell over his eyes, it was lighter than before, his nose was red because of the cold, a wide smile and glowing eyes that looked at Jisung like he hung the stars on the sky. Lee Minho was right there, and even if it had been almost a year without seeing each other, Hyunjin still loved him like the first day.

 

**_I’m sorry_ **

 

If there was one thing Hyunjin hated the most on the universe was seeing Minho cry. He was always so bright and he always tried to make those around him happy too, he had the brightest most beautiful smile and if someone was ever to take it away from him, Hyunjin would hunt them until the end of the world.

He remembers perfectly the day that Minho had come crying to his door and Hyunjin couldn’t care enough, even if he was the cause of the other’s sadness.

They had been going through a rough patch on their relationship, Hyunjin was overstressed because of college and his parents, they had refused to keep paying his tuition if he didn’t switch from dance to engineering. 

So, Hyunjin had to start working part time plus tutoring while trying to get himself a scholarship so he could continue his studies. And he wasn’t one to deal well with his problems, he pushed everyone around him away and locked himself up.

Minho had never been dependant or extremely clingy with him, he knew when to give his boyfriend space but Hyunjin wasn’t just pushing him away. He had been straight up ignoring Minho: not answering his texts, hanging up his calls, missing his dance performances, he had been practically erasing himself from their relationship.

The breaking point had been him forgetting their two year anniversary.

He and Minho had talked after what it seem to be weeks and they had agreed to meet at the elder's house to have dinner together, nothing big but it would have been enough. 

Hyunjin had fallen asleep as soon as he got home from class that day, he had taken a double shift at work the day before and had a test that morning, so he decide to rest for a bit before having to go to Minho’s at seven. 

He woke up at eleven by a knocking on his door. Minho was standing outside, tears streaming down his face and a gift on his arms.

“I think we should break up” He could tell that Minho was shaking but he didn’t care, the person he loved the most was breaking down in front of him and he couldn’t bring himself to do anything.

“You’re overreacting” He saw the look on Minho’s eyes change from sadness to anger.

“You couldn’t even make it to our anniversary dinner” The older pushed the gift that he was holding onto Hyunjin’s hands and for some reason it only annoyed him more.

“So what? It’s just a date not big deal”

“Not a big deal? Do you know how many things you have missed over the past months? You wanted space and I gave that to you but relationships are a two way thing”

“Don’t make me seem like the bad guy here. You know how things had been for me the past few months” Minho rolled his eyes and Hyunjin felt himself getting even more upset. 

“And? Everyone has things going on but you’re the only one weeping around” Minho raised his voice and Hyunjin felt a pang on his heart, he couldn’t believe that the person he needed the most support from just thought that he was just being dramatic over the whole situation. 

“If my weeping is so annoying to you. Why are you still here?” He took a step closer to Minho and looking at the other up close he could tell that he was tired, maybe he felt as tired as Hyunjin did.

“Because I love you” It came out as a whisper but Hyunjin could only thought about how upset and hurt he felt, that’s probably why he thought that he should hurt the other as well.

“Well I don’t anymore” 

Minho looked like he had just gotten his heart ripped out of his chest because it probably felt like that, Hyunjin felt it too. 

He hadn’t mean it, he was just angry and Minho had been right, he was just going around being miserable like he was the only one having issues. He should have said something but instead he just stood there and watched Minho walk away, and after he closed the door he broke down in tears. 

He didn’t have the heart to open the gift box, still until this day, it remained wrapped under his bed.

 

He was about to turn around and walk away when Minho saw him, the other tensed and he felt nauseous, maybe he could use that as an excuse to go home.

“This is Hyunjin” Jisung signaled with his hand for him to get closer, he took a few steps to the front but still kept a reasonable distance between them. “Hyunjin, this is Minho, my soulmate” Jisung laughed at his own joke while Minho released a strained laugh but still intertwined his fingers with his boyfriend and Hyunjin just gave an awkward smile.

“Nice to meet you” He put his hands on his pockets before he allowed himself to do something stupid like reaching out and stretching Minho’s hand. 

The other studied him for a second, he probably didn’t want to hide the fact that they actually knew each other and that Hyunjin was indeed his ex. But Hyunjin looked at him with pleading eyes, his roommate finding out who was his ex, the ex he was clearly still in love with, would probably ruin his friendship with Jisung.

“Nice to meet you too”  Hyunjin almost sighted on releaf and Minho just looked back at Jisung.

“We should enter before we turn into ice cubes” 

 

**_Thank you. Why was that so hard to say?_ **

 

Hyunjin remembers how good it felt to be loved by Minho. How kind and caring he was, and before Hyunjin spoiled everything, he tried to be caring too.

Minho always got sick when spring came around, the warm days in contrast of cold nights weren’t a got mach for him. 

Hyunjin remembers the time spring came around and Minho had been in bed with a cold, he had taken care of him the entire week. Minho became whinny when he got sick but Hyunjin thought it was endearing because the older became desperate for attention and Hyunjin loved giving his boyfriend attention.

Hyunjin was resting his head on Minho’s shoulder as they sat on the couch, he was scrolling through Instagram and seeing how everybody was posting pictures of cherry blossom trees. 

He felt kind of jealous, it was probably his favorite time of the year and he always made sure to go outside on the first day just to take pictures, but this year his boyfriend was sick so he had more important stuff to do.

“Why are you sulking?” Minho giggled and Hyunjin felt his head clash with his shoulder because of the movement.

Hyunjin showed him the picture that Seungmin had taken of him and Jeongin in front of the trees. “Look how pretty” He pouted and Minho smiled and bopped his nose.

“How cute” He intensified his pout and Minho giggled again only that this time he broke on a fit of cough. 

Hyunjin brought him a glass of water and after the other drank, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and spoke again “Do you want to go? You had been taking care of me the entire week so you have not been able to go outside that much”

Now Minho was pouting and Hyunjin kissed his forehead “Is okay”

Minho hummed before he suddenly stood up.

“Let’s go” He took Hyunjin’s hand and tried to get him out of the couch.

“Where?”

“To the park”

“But you’re sick”

“And I’ll still be sick later, come on” Hyunjin believed that it was a bad idea but he still followed his boyfriend outside.

He and Minho had walked around until it had become night time, Hyunjin had taken a lot of photos and then they had drinked coffee and gone back home. It didn’t seem like much but it was one of his most treasured memories, the cherry blossom hadn’t compared to Minho’s beauty and even if the other had been sick, he had been glowing and Hyunjin remembers smiling like a fool while they walked around.

 

The dinner had been filled by Jisung’s chattery and Minho’s sudden giggles. Hyunjin had been staring at his plate and playing with his food for the entirety of the meal, he had been too scared to look at Minho and get caught staring, the other looked as beautiful as ever, especially with the way he smiled at his boyfriend jokes.

“Hyunjin is an engineering student” He looked up at the mention of his name and it was right on time to see a flash of disappointment cross Minho’s eyes, so he turned his stare at Jisung instead “Smart, right?”

“It’s not a big deal” Hyunjin mumbled

“I wouldn’t have taken you for someone who studied engineering” Minho sounded cold unlike the rest of the night when he had used a polite tone towards him. He was disappointed and maybe Hyunjin felt a pang on his heart because of it.

“Don’t underestimate him. He dances on his free time” Jisung smiled proudly as if Hyunjin was his son and he was showing of his achievements to the other parents.

“Jisu-” Hyunjin was about to tell Jisung that they should stop talking about him when Minho interrupted him.

“I dance too” And of course he knew that but there was something in Minho’s tone that made him want to cry because of how close he had felt for a second.

 

**_If only I could go back_ **

 

They had met at the university dance department. The first years were taking a tour around the establishment so they wouldn’t get lost once classes started.

At the end of the tour some of the older students had prepared a performance for them, Hyunjin remembers that one of the guys speacially stood out to him. He danced with so much passion and enjoyment that Hyunjin couldn’t help but get captivated by his dancing, desperate to see more once it had ended.

After that the second years had gone around answering their questions and Hyunjin had been eager to speak to the guy that had called his attention earlier. So unlike any other time on his life he went directly to him and bullshitted some question about how many credits he should do every semester. 

If the guy had been captivating from afar, he had been even more alluring up close, with big brown eyes and messy hair from dancing. Hyunjin had been sure that he had fell in love in that second, considering that he hadn’t pay attention to anything of what the guy had said, too busy staring at him. He was only brought back to reality when the other asked him a question.

“Would you like to get coffee with me?” Hyunjin got taken a back and it took him some time to get an answer out.

“A-are you asking me out?” He felt like crawling into a hole after stuttering like that.

“I would like to think I am” The guy laughed and as his eyes crinkled while he brushed his hair away from his face, Hyunjin could tell he was going to fall for this guy.

“Sure, yeah. Let’s have coffee” Hyunjin cringed at his answer but the guy just kept smiling.

“I’m Minho”

“Hyunjin, nice to meet you”

 

Hyunjin tried to participate in the conversation through the rest of the dinner, so he could avoid the conversation topic going back to him. After they were done eating, Minho insisted in paying and Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel guilty, it had been alright when they were together but now it just felt wrong.

He and Jisung walked Minho home, he waved Minho goodbye and started walking ahead, not wanting to interrupt the couple and also because he was pretty sure he would not be able to take it, he would have to at some point but not just now. 

He waited at Jisung at the end of the street and as the other approached him with a big smile he tried to grin back at him.

“Did you like him? He’s really cool isn’t he” Jisung intertwined their arms and they started making their way home.

“He’s nice, you guys fit well together” Jisung smiled brightly at his comment.

“I think you guys are going to get along pretty well. You have a lot in common.”

“I don’t think so Ji” Jisung frowned but Hyunjin changed the topic to how they should have taken the leftovers from the restaurant to have as breakfast the next morning.

 

Turns out Jisung got food poisoning from the food. So the next morning when Hyunjin woke up he found his roommate hugging the toilet while he rested his head on top of it, so he took him to bed and got him some herbal tea.

“I’ll stay in bed only if you do me a favor. It’s kind of urgent” Hyunjin raised his eyebrows as he handed Jisung the tea. “I took Minho’s wallet by accident yesterday and he’s going to visit his grandmother today”

“Do you want me to take it to his house?” It was like the universe was holding a grudge against him at this point but in all honesty he deserved it, he had broken Minho’s heart after all.

Jisung shaked his head “His train leaves at twelve” Hyunjin saw the clock by Jisung’s bed marking a quarter past eleven and the station was thirty minutes away. He released a big sigh and took the wallet from his friend’s jacket.

“You own me” Jisung blew a kiss at him and with a roll of his eyes Hyunjin left the apartment.

 

The traffic had been horrific for a Saturday morning, the cab had taken forty minutes to reach the station, leaving Hyunjin a total of ten minutes to find Minho. 

Jisung had barely given him any instruction on where his boyfriend was going or Minho’s phone number, and if Hyunjin hadn’t met the guy before he would have been in a big problem. But he still hadn’t deleted Minho’s number, even if he should have a long time ago, a giveaway was the time it took Minho to answer the phone.

“Hyunjin?”His voice sounded small and insecure, Hyunjin took a big breath, he couldn’t allow stuff like this affect him anymore.

“Jisung took your wallet and send me to give it back”

“Oh” There was something in Minho’s tone, it sounded almost like disappointment. 

Hyunjin associated it to the fact that it had been him delivering the wallet and not his boyfriend, not because the other was expecting for Hyunjin to come looking for him after they saw each other again. That’s probably why he extended the explanation “He got food poisoning”

“Oh” There was silence in the line for a minute, he was able to hear the noise from the station on the back, Minho cleared his throat before speaking again “I’m at the train station”

“I know. I’m here as well” Hyunjin counted a few beats before speaking again “Where are you?”

They met by the announcement board, Hyunjin felt his heart tighten at the sight of Minho, he wondered if it would ever stop doing that. The other was playing with the sleeves of his sweater while he looked around the station and as he spotted Hyunjin, he intertwined his hands behind his back and gave him a little smile.

“Here” Hyunjin handed him the wallet and their fingers brushed as Minho took it. It burned and as a reflex Hyunjin put his hands on his pocket and Minho just stared at his hand for a moment, Hyunjin knew he should have just turned around and left.

“Have a nice time at your grandmother’s. Tell her I say hi… or not she probably doesn’t like me anymore” Hyunjin laughed awkwardly and Minho looked at him for a moment, like considering something.

“She often asks about you, her memory is failing so it went over her head that we… aren’t together anymore” They stood there for a second more, both of them wanting to say so much but at the same time not wanting to open old wounds again. 

Minho looked like he was about to say something but then he took a look at his hand again and shook his head.

“I should go” He turned back and it felt like watching him walk away again, this time more permanent and scary, so Hyunjin wasn’t able to control his tongue.

“I’m sorry” Minho froze but didn’t turn back around, it was probably for the best “I hurt you. The person I love...loved the most, it was egoistic and unsentive. I can’t tell you how many times I have wished I could have turned back time and just run after you, to hold you and told you I’m sorry, that I didn’t meant what I said. But we both now I’m a coward and an oversensitive asshole, you deserve the world and I wasn’t able to give that you so I’m sorry”

Minho’s back was still thorwards him, Hyunjin was glad because he looked like a mess with tears running all over his face. Minho covered his face with both of his hands and his shoulders started shaking, Hyunjin got to his side and it was enough to hear him talk.

“I hate you so much, you have no idea” Tears were running down Minho’s face too, his eyes turning red and Hyunjin wanted nothing more than to reach out and dry the tears away.

“I can only imagine” Hyunjin tried to smile but failed as Minho covered his eyes again with his sleeve, he took a big breath and looked at him again.

“If you had run after me that day I would have forgiven you in a blink you know, a part of me that still wants to forgive you now. That part of me that misses you, the part of me that would break the world apart if something was ever to happen to you, the part of me that yesterday got his breath taken away just like the first time” Hyunjin reached out and took Minho’s hand on his, they still fitted perfectly like puzzle pieces. The older squeezed his hand and Hyunjin felt as if he could finally start breathing again.

A few more seconds passed of them enjoying being with each other when MInho spoked again.

“I love him” Minho looked at his feet and then at Hyunjin again.

“I know you do. I have seen the way you looked at him”  _ It’s the way you used to look at meI,  _ he restrained himself from saying the last part, he knew he had to take a step back “I love him too, he’s a good friend”

“He’s good to me” Minho smiled and Hyunjin smiled back. As much as it hurt him to let Minho go, he would be much happier with Jisung, they were good for each other.

Hyunjin was about to talk again when a voice coming from the speakers announced that the train was about to leave the station.

“You should go” Minho nodded and then brought their intertwined hands to his mouth and kissed Hyunjin’s hand.

“Take care of my sick boyfriend please” Minho let his hand go but Hyunjin didn’t felt as empty as before.

“Nah, I’ll just let him die in bed” Minho laughed as he flicked his forehead. Hyunjin giggled as he waved the other goodbye.

He stayed in the station for a few more minutes going over what had just happened once again and maybe he cried some more, but it had been for the best, they needed to have that conversation to be able let each other go.

 

When he came back home Jisung was sound asleep. He entered his room and retrieved the gift box from under his bed, it was dusty and wrinkled at this point, he teared the paper open and peaked at what was inside. 

A black beanie with a pompom on the end sat on top, he smiled at that, he always complained about having cold ears and Minho’s grandmother had promised to knit him something for the winter, and the note stuck to the beanie confirmed it. Hyunjin took it to his chest for a moment regretting not getting to use it earlier.

As he left the beanie a side he took the photo frame that was left in the box, it was a picture of the day he and Minho had gone to see the cherry blossoms, Minho had his arms around him while his head rested on his shoulder. The other had a wide smile on his face and Hyunjin’s eyes are barely visible over how wide he’s had been smiling too. 

A tear fell over the photograph and as he cleaned his face he turned the frame around, he saw another note, Minho’s handwriting has always been kind of messy but after time he learned how to decipher it.

‘ _ It doesn’t matter how many problems you have and how mistakes you make over time because i will always be there to catch you and forgive you. I love you my blooming cherry blossom _ ’

**_I would give you my everything_ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> i love hyunho :(


End file.
